i want to be green eyed someday

i dont know how i did it but i am able to get on this blog again
cannot really believe it yet, i've tried so many times and was so disappointed
but now...it just works.

i am here. writing. i am my brother's place in greifswald right now, vacation time. just like old times. only that i am over three years older than the last time i posted on here. wowowow.
nothing really happened since then really...i just quit school, started a voluntary year at a fostery, went to the clinic since i almost killed myself, moved in with my boyfriend back then in berlin, worked as a cashier, started studying, found new friends, broke up with my boyfriend, got my own room in a shared apartment in berlin, was awake for three days, went clubbing too much (at least for my taste), visited the beautiful lisbon, quit my studies again and now i will go to england in October. for 10 months.

(written down it does not feel like my life)

there is so much to organise right now and the fear finally caught up with (a bit) and i am realising what i've done (in a good way) so easily. i am leaving everything i built up the last two years behind me right now. but i do think that's the only way to get better. because i got bad again this past year since i broke up with my ex-boyfriend Moritz. I loved him. For a time i wasn't sure but i know now.

we'll see where the road goes from here. it is wide open.

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